you are overworked; busy trying to balance work, friends, school, family, health, yourself, and me. today a piece of me broke when you proclaimed “I’m Done.” my heart shattered into thousands of tiny pieces while i was sitting in your car. i felt alone after that, but then i realized that by doing this, you really do love me. you want me to get better. you want me to fight my depression. you want me to overcome my anxious habits. you want me to live a happy life. you want me to make memories with my friends. you want me to do well in school. you want me to have a good relationship with my parents. you want me to learn to love myself.. by doing this, although it seems like you are breaking my heart, you are trying to protect it. you have realized the mistakes you have made and are willing to make the ultimate sacrifice in order for me to recover. you made a huge sacrifice in order for the person you love to be happy. you gave up your Own potential happiness in order for the person you love to be happy. for this, you are truly one of the greatest persons i have ever met in my life and i am truly blessed to have fallen in love with you. i never realized how truly you loved me until this moment, and it truly is one of the most Beautiful moments of my life. i feel as though no one has ever loved me as much as you do. i know all you want to do is help other people and be there for them, but you have to learn to love yourself before you love others. it is a hard lesson to learn, but it is a very important one. you told me you want me to work on getting better, and i want you to get better too. i want you to be more mindful of your actions. i want you to make your actions mimic your words. i want you to be less harsh on yourself. i want you to be happy. i want you to be able to be proud of yourself. i want you to be able to open up to those around you. i want you to get over your fear of the past. i want you to have a bright future. i want you to beat your depression. i want you to battle against the little voice in your head saying “you cant.” i want you to be open to being optimistic. i want you to be able to one day Love Yourself. it may all seem impossible now, but everything will be alright. it will get better. i believe with all of my heart that you can overcome yourself, your fears. i believe with all my heart that you will be able to be an honest man one day, with yourself, and with me. i believe with all my heart that you will love yourself one day. you just have to look inside yourself and believe with your heart too. it will be a challenging experience, but it will be worthwhile. i know i sound like a hypocrite saying all of this because you know damn well that i hate my own guts. but by taking this break, i promise, to you and myself, i will learn to love myself one day. it will be one of life’s greatest challenges, but it will be rewarding. it may take a lifetime to complete my goal, but i know one day this obscure dream will be my reality, will be your reality. i hope that one day you can join me on this journey and take all of your self hatred and turn it into love for yourself. whether you see it or not, you have truly been blessed with a gift to love and comfort people. it is humbling to see you always help sarah in her times of need and to always help out a friend in trouble. i hope you will turn your gift inward at some point in your life and try to help yourself out of the dark pool of hate you are swimming in. thats all i want from you, for you to learn to love yourself. that is what love is about, putting the person you love before yourself. i dont want to be greedy and keep you all for myself if you arent happy, it will be hard for me to not be with you if it comes to that, but i will smile because you have shown me life’s greatest gift: how to love and how to be loved. true love is about putting the other person above yourself and you have showed me that tonight, and it was life changing. i want you to know that i do want to work things out, since we are still technically “together” and i want you to know that i am always here for you, in your beautiful times and your ugly ones. i am going to try to follow in your footsteps and be selfless and let you go if you mustn’t be with me to be truly happy. because that’s what True love is. a challenge. a heartbreak. a test of patience, of forgiveness. a light. a warm summer day. a lifetime. love is whatever you make of it and i hope we can make it through all the good times, the bad, the ugly, the mad, the brave, the sad. i know that one day we will learn to be happy, but a part of happiness is love. i know with all my being that i truly love you, im not just saying that. and i now know, truly, that you love me too. i hope you and i can accommodate each other on our quests for happiness. we could be each others rocks. each others comfort. each others safe place. each others love. love makes everything easier, but it does not heal completely. if a day comes where i have to bid you farewell, i hope you will have the courage to find happiness within yourself.
i truly love you with all my being, with all my soul.
i love you Alex.